I’m Awake!Posted: March 19, 2013
I went to bed last night with a lot on my mind. I had received quite a bit of feedback from my post, and was surprised at the wisdom that was shared with me yesterday. As naive as it sounds, I guess it was almost shocking to hear that so many people had felt the same as me at one point or another.
It’s easy for me to feel sorry for myself (there I said it)! It’s always been easy for me to feel like my life has been especially hard, and that my woes are unique and under great circumstances. Sometimes I sit around (like yesterday) and convince myself that things are terrible, and I get down, and unknowingly, I bring others down with me. I don’t want to be that person. And I feel like last night God whispered to me, “Beth look at your life, and rethink the prayers you have been sending to me.” I have been desperately pleading with God to show us where he wants us; begging him to give us careers that can support our family and give us a good life. But the more I think about it, I have been focusing much more on this than I should. God gave me two angels-my little girls who bring more joy to me on a daily basis than I could ever hope for! I am able to be at home with them today and spend time that I wouldn’t normally get to if I had a full time career.
So today, with the sun shining, and the kids laughing and singing in the background, I will give thanks to what I DO have. Speaking of children, I don’t know if I have shown my gratitude to them enough for what they have both done in my life. Just today, my youngest rested her head on my chest and held me tightly with both arms. I can’t wrap my thoughts around how wonderful it feels to have my little girls hug me. In a world where anything can happen to us at anytime, I need to be thankful everyday that my children are even capable of hugging me.
My husband is positive, caring, and uplifting everyday. He has been so quick to catch me as I’m slipping, and reassure me when things get tough. I’m not exactly sure what I did to deserve such an astounding man, but trust me, I’m not arguing.
As of right now, our vehicles are working. There is food in our bellies, a roof over our head, and MANY things to be thankful for. My conclusion throughout all of this is that while my plan may not be going accordingly, God’s IS. And if I keep trusting him, he’s going to see it through and show us where he wants us to be. The most important thing to me in this life is to leave a legacy my children can remember, and plant a seed in them to live their lives through Christ. Who am I to doubt his will?